You can’t imagine how delighted I was when I saw the Pinterest 2026 trend prediction and that pen palling was included! Seeing people interested in reviving the art of pen palling is great and shows how much they want slow, deep connections with real people in an era where everything is fast-paced.
If you’ve ever wondered how to get a pen pal, talk to people around the world, and build meaningful connections with people who are just like you, I’ve got you covered.
What is a pen pal?
A pen pal is someone with whom you talk to frequently and maintain a particular friendship. This person can be someone you know in real life, or it could be someone you’ve met on the internet. It’s about connecting slowly and enjoying the little pieces of each other’s lives that you choose to share.
This involves sending letters to each other at a pace that feels comfortable, whether weekly, biweekly or monthly, letting your friendship develop naturally over time.
How to find pen pals?
Here are ways to find pen pals
1- your friends
Yes, your friends can become your pen pals.
I know how hard it is to make friends and maintain friendships while navigating life in your 20s. Taking the time to talk to your friends and connect with them can be hard. Making your friends your pen pals could be a great idea to keep the friendship alive, without all the hassle of always finding time to…
Instant messaging is great, but it requires being available to talk at the exact moment.
With penpalling, you can write to each other at your convenience, whether weekly, biweekly, or monthly. This can prevent you from having nothing to say to each other, help you stay in contact for significant events, and support each other without the frustration that can keep you from staying in touch.
It could be the friend you meet very often, the one who moved cities, or the one who is way too busy to talk on the phone for long.
Writing to each other actually gives you time to reflect on your words, makes you more comfortable talking about specific topics in writing and helps you stay at peace without rushing through your words. You can sit down during your downtime and write freely.
Related: Dear 20s: Why It’s Normal Not to Have Life All Together Yet
2- penpal sites/apps
There are a variety of sites designed to help people find others to connect with around the world. Here are some of my personal recommendations ranked by my favourites and the ones I have tried before :
Global penfriend
I found my first (and only) pen pal on this website. Global penfriend is a website that helps you find people around the world to talk to and eventually become pen pals with, sharing letters.
How does it work?
You create an account and list your hobbies and interests to get started. You’ll need to wait a couple of hours for your account to get approved, which is a great idea. Your profile will be reviewed by a real person, which helps prevent spam accounts and scams.
Now, after your profile gets approved, you can browse the many profiles and start connecting with other people.
What I like about this website is the built-in direct message option. This helps you get to know the person before you share any information and decide whether you want to continue as pen pals.
Another option is to decide whether to send physical letters or stay digital. If you want snail mail friends, a gift exchange, or even to meet someone to practice a language you’re learning, you can.
Global penfriend does have a paid feature that lets you filter profiles and search by age, religion, country, etc., but the free version is great enough.
Lettre (app)
This is a penpal app that is available on iOS. This one is mainly digital and helps you connect with people around the world.
Digital penpalling is really cool because it’s less pricey than sending physical mail to each other. And mailing can be very complicated, depending on where you live. However, it still feels personal: the app provides a “digital paper” experience. You can write with your finger or an iPad pencil, draw, add pictures, and add a personal touch to every letter you’re sending.
This app also has a paid feature that lets you filter profiles to find the type of pen pal you want, but again, the free version is perfect to start.
Slowly (app)
Slowly is a digital pen palling app similar to Letter where everything stays on the platform, including notifications and messaging.
Slowly is more minimalist yet personal. You create a profile with a customizable 2D avatar to represent yourself, and you can write open letters that anyone can reply to. The app can also suggest matches based on your open letter and interests.
Compared to Letter, Slowly is less focused on drawing or decorating letters and more on the writing itself, which makes it a good option if you prefer simplicity.
If you search Instagram for #penpal, you will find various accounts. Some have special posts where anyone can write a brief note about themselves in the comments, and others can DM them to start a conversation. Some accounts try to “match” people: you fill out a form, and they pair you with someone they think you’d be compatible with.
r/penpal
You can find a pen pal on Reddit. There’s a special forum for that.
People create posts introducing themselves, sharing a little about their interests, and stating how often they’d like to write. Others can reply if they feel a connection, and that’s how friendships start!
I haven’t tried that method myself, and honestly, it is not my favourite. There is a moderator who oversees the forum, but it’s still very vulnerable because you’re trusting strangers online.
What do you need to start pen palling?
If you decide to go with the traditional letter writing, all you need is paper, a pen and an envelope. However, if you want to make it more fun, you can purchase some custom papers or a pen palling kit. This kit can include special or themed paper, stickers, and a decorated envelope.
To make it even more personal, you can draw, decorate with stickers, washi tape, and make each one in your unique style. You can find a lot of inspiration on Pinterest.
If you decide to have an e-penpal to avoid spending money on postage and everything, what you need could only be an email address or a messaging app.
The most important thing is to agree on the medium you both prefer, and that is most convenient for you and your pen pal.
What to write to your pen pal?
Now that you have your paper and your pen, what’s next?
You can add a photo of yourself if you feel comfortable, and share a bit of your life and what you’ve been up to lately. You can keep it very casual. Don’t forget to ask questions…lots of them. Asking about their interests, daily life, or why they enjoy penpalling helps keep the conversation flowing and shows genuine interest.
How to stay safe while enjoying the pen palling experience?
Penpalling is a wonderful experience, and meeting people online is great, but people are still people, and the internet is still a dangerous place. Here are simple ways to stay safe:
- Build trust
Most of the platforms I shared have a built-in messaging option you can use. To stay safe, I suggest chatting with your potential pen pal to see if you have anything in common. You can also decide not to leave this chat feature and share any information until you have built enough trust with each other.
- Don’t share sensitive information
Now, about the address part…I know it is not very safe to share your home address with a random stranger on the internet. I suggest sharing a P.O. Box address or your work address so you can safely send and receive mail with your pen pal.
- Oversharing
From the beginning, it’s very good to set your mind on what you want to share with your pen pal to protect yourself. Avoid sharing information such as full birth dates, financial information, or personal details that could be used to identify you offline. Stick to hobbies, interests, and safe stories about your life.
- Trust your instinct
If something feels wrong, that’s probably because it is. If you find yourself in a situation that feels dangerous or feel pressured to share things you don’t want to share or to go to a different platform, it is perfectly okay to say no and stop the conversation.
Let’s talk about the ugly part of pen palling
Ghosting happens, and it’s not a reflection of you. People get busy, lose interest or sometimes just forget. The best approach is to give it some time and not to take it personally.
I must admit that penpalling is not the best hobby for you if you want replies quickly. Patience is part of the charm. Writing and receiving letters, or even thoughtful emails, takes time. Try to enjoy the process itself rather than stressing about response times, and remember that slower communication can make the connection feel more meaningful.
But what if you found a pen pal who seems like a great match, but the connection feels…off?
That’s perfectly okay. Not every connection will feel right, and you don’t owe anyone a friendship just because you started writing. If something feels uncomfortable, forced, or simply not aligned with you, it’s perfectly fine to step back or end the exchange politely.
Wrapping up
If you decide to start pen palling, go gently, stay safe, and remember that every good connection begins with a simple hello.
Have you ever had a pen pal, or are you thinking about starting?
Feel free to share your experience or ask questions in the comments. I’d love to hear your thoughts.
’til next time
Xoxo,
Neïla
