Everyone has that one friend who seems to have it all figured out. They are the ones with the perfect job, busy social schedule, and active lifestyle. You know…the person you’re always envious of because they appear to be so well-rounded and put together. It’s easy to feel like you’re the only person in the world who doesn’t have life together in your 20s. But don’t worry, because you’re not! The truth is, no one has it all figured out! We all have our struggles and challenges in life that we deal with from time to time.
When I was younger, I thought that life would play out in a certain way: I’ll graduate high school, go to college, get married, start a family and work in my dream job. But here I am years later, and honestly… I can’t do all the things I thought I would be doing at my age.
Having expectations isn’t a bad thing. It’s fine to think, ‘By 25, I want to be doing XYZ,’ that can actually give you a sense of direction. But life doesn’t always play fair. Family stuff, past mistakes, personal struggles, or just plain bad luck can throw you off track. That doesn’t mean you’ve failed.
The important part is learning from it, owning what you can, and giving yourself some grace while you keep moving forward.
What can you do about it?
Tell yourself from time to time that you need to let go of the idea of what life should be in your head and accept it as it is and where you are now. If it takes five or seven years to make your dream come true, or even just to find it out, that’s okay. It’s okay not to be sure about what you want to do, or to have a career plan that will last a lifetime.
You don’t have to have the perfect job or the perfect relationship. You don’t have to be the best friend. You never will be, and it doesn’t mean you’re failing at life. It means you’re human.
Spend more time focusing on things that you have right now and the tiny goals you have accomplished, whether it’s landing a new job, making friends, finally starting that hobby you’ve been putting off, or just getting through a tough week. As for me, I am still figuring out my career path, learning how to drive and learning about that weird thing called being an adult. These little things might seem insignificant, but for me, they mean that I am getting better and learning things I didn’t know yesterday, and that’s what matters. The most
Life is meant to be lived, not planned out!
It’s never too late to change your course based on what life has imposed on you. All you can do is do it step by step; all you can do is keep moving in the right direction. You may not think that things are going according to plan right now, but even if it’s difficult, use this as an opportunity to put things in perspective and get to know yourself even better.
Don’t compare yourself to everyone else and only worry about your life. I know it’s not an easy thing to do, but honestly, you’ve got to give yourself some room to breathe and just be.
You need to experience what life is, from feeling happy because you did something useful, to sad because you failed despite trying your best. It’s tiring when you are constantly trying to figure out what will happen in the next moment, and life really asks you to relax a little and trust more.
No matter how worried you are and how much you think too much about not knowing what to do with your life, be it career, family or personal life, take a deep breath and open up to the idea that you can never predict where you are and that you can only do your best.
In the end, it’s important to remember that we’re all on a journey and that journey is different for everyone. It’s okay to not have it all figured out, especially in your 20s, and to be working towards your goals every day.
The important thing is to enjoy your life, focus on what’s going right in your life and share those moments with the people you love.
I’d love to hear from you — what’s one expectation you’ve had for yourself that didn’t go as planned? Or one small win you’re proud of this week?
’til next time
Xoxo
Neïla
I second everything you said. I’m one of the people who did not figure out my life during my 20s. When I was in my 20s, I didn’t know what I wanted to be. I only have a dream lifestyle. And thank god, I achieved the dream lifestyle that I want during my late 20s and early 30s. Now, I’m working on my dream to become an author.